Because I’m Your Father

• "Fish are not like us, they don't have logic." Nicole Koenig, Guppy Wrangler #fb #
• Fairly certain Albert's possessed by the devil. He's been laughing maniacally for nearly an hour. If his head starts spinning I'm out. #fb #
• C'mon man… can't I please have at least 2-3 MORE nosebleeds today? I mean, I LOVE them SO much and all. #imabloodymess #fb #
• Are CNN's Rick Sanchez and Fox's Gregg Jarrett the same people? I'm having trouble telling the difference… #doucheydramaqueens #fb #
• Watching the NASCAR race with Albert, who has just assigned each of the cars their respective Pixar Cars titles. Danica is Chick Hicks. #fb #

• Valentines Eve was… the love of my life, great sushi, and a good but overrated leftist propaganda laced mega blockbuster alien flick #fb #
• Just landed in DC… Smells like politics. #fb #
• The person who invented the low flow shower head should be drawn and quartered #fb #
• Just saw CNN's Candy Crowley wandering around my hotel lobby looking very lost… although I suppose that's probably normal. #fb #
• The snooze button is evil and must be defeated. #torturedevice #fb #
• Not a fan of the podium or microphone, but I suppose I got through it. #publicspeakingnube #fb #
• So I'll be on Fox News Strategy Room (online) today at 3pm-ET talking about The Liberty Ship #fb #
• Have decided that the next time I have to take off my belt for the TSA, I'm going to do so Pootie Tang style. #sepatown #sadatay #fb #

• Thoroughly enjoying watching a heavy snowfall with Albert… Soundtrack by The Beatles. #fb http://twitpic.com/125eba #
• Complimenting my son 18 thousand times will still not make up for your crappy service or get you a bigger tip lady #waitressfail #fb #

Rather enjoyed watching @krauthammer and Bill Kristol nuke Juan Williams with logical thought on @FoxNews Sunday… #
I'm not exactly sure how to feel about the #1 song on the…  READ MORE

Did Jim Nance actually just say that Indy's season was "as smooth and as sweet as custard"? #iwannapunchjimnanceintheface #fb #
Decided to rank the things I love most in life:…  READ MORE